the phone

I like the telephone. I don’t like talking to people on the phone, I don’t like answering the phone, I don’t like returning phone calls, and I don’t like making phone calls. I hate voicemail. I haven’t checked my work voicemail in over a year. The work voicemail has a simple message: “Send me email.” I even asked to have it disabled, but they refused (only in academia could I get away with this…)

I resist calling people — even people I really like — because I just don’t dig the phone.

And more than that, I always wonder what all these people are always blathering to others about on their cellphones constantly. I see students walk out of class, open their phones, and call people. Who the fuck are they calling? I mean, it isn’t like these people are surgeons checking up on their patients or Wall Street brokers making trades. They’re, like, totally calling their friends to, like, CHAT! OMFG!!11 Like, I’m getting SO drunk tonight.